Street-girls, escorts and cocaine

I have been criticised by some for suggesting that large numbers of prostitutes who are not street-girls take drugs. I need to clarify what it is that I have said and explain why I think it is so.

My guess is that half of all prostitutes who are not street-girls, even the higher-class escorts, take cocaine on a regular basis. It is my belief that no matter which form of prostitution a man may indulge in, the money he pays is likely to be spent in part on cocaine.

Cocaine use is so common in our society now, and is becoming more common. It is accepted in some circles, especially among people who can earn large amounts of money.

Women who take up prostitution have crossed a line that most women would not wish to cross. A woman who is willing to cross that line would be more willing to also cross the line of trying drugs. Trying a drug like cocaine is an easier step to take than trying prostitution, more women have taken it, and more middle-class women.

The sort of men who pay prostitutes are more likely to take cocaine. The sort of men who associate with prostitutes socially are more likely to take cocaine. This will influence many women who take up prostitution.

Any man who pays prostitutes and who thinks that his money will not be spent on drugs is fooling himself. Any woman who takes cocaine and looks at a street girl and thinks "That could never happen to me" is fooling herself. Street-girls in my experience do not become street-girls because they are forced into it by pimps, or been forced onto drugs, or because they have recently emerged from a childhood in care.

They have become street-girls because they have been willing to cross lines, to transgress boundaries. This is because they are fun-loving and don't think that it can happen to them. They don't think. In some cases they will have had some kind of psychological disturbance and have always had a chaotic lifestyle. In most cases that will not be true. It is in the nature of drug addiction that people loose control.

Cocaine by itself is enough of a problem. People who take it think that they can control how much they take and that they will not go on to take crack cocaine, crystal meth or heroin. In most cases people can control it, but you can never tell if it will be you who ends up on the streets.

You may think that it is hypocritical of me to say this when I give money to street girls. I'm not criticising people, I just want people to be clear about what it is that they are doing. If two or three times a year I give a tenner to a street-girl to feel her tits or something else I don't feel that I should be criticised by other punters or by escorts who feel that they are better than me.

I am aware that money paid for cocaine and crack cocaine ends up in the hands of criminals who plant land mines that kill and maim innocent people in South America. Are you? What I have been looking for for a long time is an unmarried mum on a council estate in south London who needs the money to pay rent and bills and Xmas presents for her kids. I would be one of her regular clients and I would be more confident than nearly all punters that my money was not going on drugs. I would stop seeing street-girls and I would stop going to Soho too.

pictures of street girls

I found some pictures of street girls on the internet. I thought that they are interesting. Five pictures of each of five street girls. I have included one picture of each of the women, the one that showed the face best. It is the faces I find interesting. I have cropped and resized the pictures so that it is only the face that is seen.

These pictures were taken by the same man in the King's Cross area of London. This has a reputation for prostitution. I used to go to Argyl Square next to King's Cross years ago. I saw large numbers of women selling themselves on the street. I have not seen street girls anywhere in the King's Cross area in recent years.

The women in these photos look very sad. They look different from the women that I have met on Tooting Bec Common. I have always thought that the women getting into cars late at night inhabit a whole different world from the one that I am familiar with. The most addicted street girls don't come to Tooting Bec Common because they can't make enough money there.

BBC report: prostitutes on Tooting Bec Common

Amanda Austin is a liar

Yesterday evening there was a report on prostitution on Tooting Bec Common on BBC 1 at 7.30 pm. It was one of the reports on 'Inside Out' presented by Matthew Wright, and it is one of the shabbiest examples of journalism I have ever seen.

The presenter started “Imagine, though, having pimps and prostitutes doing a roaring trade right on your doorstep”. I know that there are no pimps on Tooting Bec Common. I know this because I have been going to Tooting Bec Common for 8 years and I have seen what goes on there (at least in the daytime), I have talked to the girls frequently, and this programme offered no evidence that there are any pimps there.

The journalist Shini Somarathne then talked about “evidence everywhere of sex and drugs irresponsibly discarded where kids come out to play”. It is true that you can find lots of used condoms and condom packets but not on the paths that most people use, only the paths in the dense undergrowth. People don't just have sex in the open where people are likely to walk past, even at night.

I have never seen drugs equipment there ever. The programme showed what looked like it might be part of a syringe, but I have never seen anything like that before. Addicts don't use syringes to take crack, and I doubt very much if anyone is going to inject heroin out in the open, they prefer seclusion.

It is Amanda Austin, a local resident and member of Neighbourhood Watch, who annoys me most. She said “Residents have been concerned that they've seen girls who've been beaten up, that we really don't want children in the area to have to witness that – and residents have also said that they've been propositioned when they are walking through the park in broad daylight with young children”.

She went on to say “We want to have this somewhere safe and free of rubbish and free of drugs equipment and needles and condoms”.

In the 8 years I have been going to the Common I have never seen an injured girl, or anyone propositioned when children have been anywhere around. I have never seen any drugs equipment like needles there ever. And if you don't believe me, I can prove what I say. You just have to go there yourself and see it for yourself.

I wasn't going to publicise the precise location of where the prostitution occurs on my blog (Tooting Bec Common is a large place). However, the residents of the area seem so keen to publicise their problem in the media (unwisely, I feel) that anyone who has seen the programmes about it will now know where to go. If you walk westwards along Becmead Avenue from the centre of Streatham and cross the road into the park, that's where it is. If you get to the railway line you have gone too far.

Later Amanda Austin said “I've heard more alarming stories, perhaps, about one woman who had a bloody face and was out on the common still working”. I would suggest, perhaps, that this is exactly what she says it is – a story. If not a story then a one-off incident. It sounds to me like middle-class people trying to protect their property prices and making a lot of stuff up, and a journalist who is just interested in a good story and can't be bothered to check the facts.

Most amusing was the attempt at secret filming. They wanted to show that prostitutes were returning to the area. My understanding is that at night girls do get into cars on the roads around the Common. But the best that they could come up with was showing a young woman in jeans walking along a path by a road talking into her mobile phone.

They also showed what they said where 3 policemen approaching a man at night standing at a bus shelter. They said that this was a pick-up point. No it is not. It is a bus shelter. They then showed the man getting onto the bus leaving the 3 men there. So much for this “sting”.

They talked about people 'loitering'. It's a park. What do you expect people to do in a park? It is enormously difficult to work out who is a punter or an ordinary man, or who is a prostitute or an ordinary woman. It's not a simple as lifting their skirts up to see if they are wearing any knickers.

I remember early last year I was sitting on a park bench where often punters sit. I was a bit annoyed because I had been there several times that year and I had seen no prostitutes at all. This just goes to show that – during the daytime at least – it is not an enormous problem. A man came and sat next to me and after a while I asked him if he had seen any. I don't normally talk to other punters. Turns out he wasn't a punter at all, just some ordinary bloke.

The programme also talked about Marissa Mann who, 11 years ago, was beaten up by prostitutes. Not very nice, but it does show that they are not the timid victims that people like to portray them as. They don't need pimps. The only men they are going to hand their money over to are the drug dealers. I have occasionally seen men on the Common who I have thought might be drug dealers. Men on bikes who have a certain look about them.

The police should go after the drug dealers. If police action can't get rid of the dealers, then how do people think that police action will get rid of the prostitutes or their clients? As I have said more than once on the punternet.com forum, get rid of the dealers and you get rid of addiction. Get rid of the punters and the girls just do more shop lifting and other anti-social activities.

My understanding is that girls go to the Common in the daytime when they no longer wish to get into cars at night (either on the roads next to the Common or at Brixton Hill/New Park Road). They feel safer there, although they can't make as much money.

I often think drug dealers are not criticised as often as they should be because so many people hand over money to dealers. I don't. People don't want to criticise anything that they are involved with or may one day become involved with.

Much better than the confrontational approach of people like Amanda Austin or Marissa Mann is to try and talk to and help the girls. I admire people like the workers at St Mungo's (mentioned on the programme) who offer them an alternative. Doesn't always work because they don't want to quit until they are ready, but they are doing what they can with limited resources.

I think the reason why people always want to think that pimps must be involved is because they want to think that girls are forced into this way of life. They like to think of them as victims. Also they want to believe that it could not happen to them. Any woman who takes drugs like cocaine, crack cocaine, heroin and crystal meth are in danger of one day ending up on the streets as a street girl. You may not believe it can happen to you, but then that's always the way with drug addiction.

recent publicity about Tooting Bec Common

There has been a lot of recent publicity about Tooting Bec Common in the media. A couple of days ago there was a BBC local news report about it. There have also been newspaper articles. About 10 years ago there were many prostitutes who got into cars late at night on the roads around the eastern end of the common. The police had a big crackdown, but the problem has been getting worse. Residents have been complaining.

I didn't go there 10 years ago and I have never been there at night. I didn't like the BBC news report because it was trying to make it sound worse than it is. It showed women it short skirts, some of them hanging around doorways and neon signs showing illicit services. None of this has anything to do with what happens on Tooting Bec Common. It also said that 'drugs paraphernalia' and condoms are found near to paths. I have never seen any drugs paraphernalia. Sometimes you do see used condoms and wrappers but in secluded places far away from paths. So I think the BBC is being untruthful here.

I have been to the common 3 or 4 times this year. There was mainly older women there. I have not given money to any young women, and have seen only a couple of them. One of the older woman I met was quite unpleasant. She was slagging off one of the street girls (C.), saying that she lets men shag her up the arse without a condom. She told me that she herself comes from a criminal family. She described herself as a cripple, because she has a pronounced limp.

I met another older woman who was very chatty. She told me that one of the girls that I knew (N.) was pregnant and was giving up prostitution. She told me that it often happens that a street girl gets pregnant and gives it all up.

Another older woman was telling me about K. but I don't know how accurate her information was. She told me that K. looks like an old woman now and was injecting heroin. She said that K. is still quite young and had been involved in prostitution since she was 13. That doesn't seem to fit in with what K. has told me about herself, but then K. might have been telling me a load of rubbish.

I have seen N. twice this year. First was in a supermarket. She said hello to me and smiled. She looked much rougher than I had ever remembered her. Then a few weeks later I saw her in the street. I asked her if she had had rehab. She said that she was about to. I hope she gets off the drugs because she is a nice person. Although I was sad to see her looking so rough, I was pleased to hear she may be getting out of it. I was also pleased that she remembered me and did not think that I was like an abuser. She didn't offer me sex and I didn't offer her money.

I have also seen, but not spoken to, T. twice this year with a baby. She looked OK but older than I remember her.

more about other streetgirls I have met

part 4 of blog 'Secret Diary of a Street Girl' by Bête de Nuit

People have many misconceptions about street girls. They think that drug addicts are being exploited because they have no choice but to sell themselves on the street. They think that when a street girl is having things done to her she has the same feelings as a woman who is being raped or maybe a child who is being abused. They think that street girls hate what is happening to them but put up with it because they are desperate and have no alternative.

People also think that most street girls are being pimped and many are underage. The ones that I have seen are not.

If prostitution on Tooting Bec Common was stopped then street girls would spend more time in Brixton Hill or New Park Road. As it is many of the more addicted girls like K. cannot get enough money from Tooting Bec Common and rarely go there. They go to Brixton Hill at 2 or 3 am and get into men's cars. One girl told me she was robbed there and I suspect that K. was stabbed there.

When K. started turning up again on Tooting Bec Common again a couple of years ago, I noticed she had a bandage around her middle. I suspect that she had been stabbed and that she had decided that Brixton Hill was too dangerous for her.

If prostitution was no longer an option to them then they would resort to street crime, burglary or shoplifting. They might beg or sell drugs. This is after all what male drug addicts usually end up doing. Some of the more organized women can have a number of regular clients. I met a woman on the common who said she was only there because she had lost her mobile phone and all the numbers of her clients. I don't think she was an addict.

Prostitutes often pretend that they are enjoying having sex with their clients and it can be difficult to guess what is going on in their minds. The street girls I have seen on the common don't seem to resent what I was doing to them, they were mostly chatty and friendly. There was only ever one girl who seemed to be upset.

One pleasant summer afternoon I passed a girl sitting on a bench on the common. She had a young man with her. She asked me if I had a light for her cigarette. She was reasonably pretty, and she had long hair and a short skirt, which is what I like. Most of the girls on the common wear jeans. I didn't want to talk to her with the man there but later I saw her walking around. I said I would give her ten pounds if she would let me finger her. She told me her name was T. We went somewhere and I asked her to lie down with me on the grass.

She looked very unhappy about it. This was the one time that I regret going with a girl on the common. What I would have liked to have done is to tell her that I had changed my mind, that we could just have had a chat instead. I would have told her that I can remember what it is like to be a young person in London, living in temporary accommodation, not knowing if you'll have enough money, not knowing what your future will be. I could have told her that if she uses the system then she can end up OK with a nice flat of her own, as I have done. I would also have liked to have asked her if someone was making her do this.

Some weeks after this I asked another girl that I knew called N. which girls I should avoid on the common. She said K., of course, and a woman called Zoë. But she also said T. This surprised me. I could imagine Zoë becoming violent, but I could not imagine T. being like that. She seemed quite sweet.

Zoë is a woman I saw only once. She came to the common with her friend, who looked as if she could have been attractive once. They both looked like hardened crack addicts, and Zoë looked quite evil. She sat on the bench where I was sitting. She told me her name was Candy, but she is known as Zoë (I'm not going to conceal the name of a woman I don't like). Judging from her accent she comes from Birmingham. She tried to persuade me to come into the bushes with her and when I said I wasn't interested she tried to put my hand on her crotch.

Unlike T., most of the girls on the common don't seem to mind what I did to them. But twice I have been with women on the common who have been turned on when I fingered them. I know that prostitutes often pretend to be turned on, but the signs of sexual arousal in a woman are unmistakable.

Last year I met an African girl called D. who was wearing a short skirt. She took me to a secluded place. She sat on a tree stump. I put my hand up her skirt. She wasn't wearing any knickers. I touched the outside of her pussy and after a while I inserted first one finger, and then two. I could tell she was becoming aroused. She put her head against mine and mumbled "It's very bad, it's very bad".

I asked her to come to my flat sometime. She said she would. She gave me her mobile number. I also asked her if she knew K. and N. She said these were girls she knew from New Park Road not so much Tooting Bec Common. When I asked her about N. she said "Which one?". I said "Long blonde hair" and she said "We call her 'Pretty N.'". There are two women with the same name. That sounded right to me because the N. I had known was pretty. She told me that N. was in prison.

D. came to my flat. She is the only one to have come to my flat apart from K. You might think that a young woman is not going to be sexually aroused with a middle-aged man like me but K. was quite enthusiastic when she came to my flat. These girls have lost their inhibitions. I often ask street girls if they have had sex with other girls and both K. and D. have told me that if I want they could bring another girl next time for a threesome.

When I phoned D. to ask her to come to my flat she said she would come that day. Later on she phoned me and I could recognize the distorted voice I had first heard with K. The voice they have when they have been taking a lot of crack.

She didn't turn up till about midnight. She seemed quite agitated. She went into my bathroom and started having a shower without asking me. She came into the room naked and found some of my moisturizer and covered herself from head to foot. She said it was too quiet in here and turned on the radio, turning the dial till she found something she liked. Then she sat on the floor in front of the fire and started smoking crack. This was a bit of a surprise to me. I had never seen anyone smoke crack before.

This was a different experience from when K. came to my flat. Looking at D. I could tell her face and body had yet to be affected by drugs, but she was behaving in quite a scary way. I asked her to come and lie on the bed with me which she did but she continued to smoke crack. I did have sex with her but she wasn't interested. Neither was she interested in talking, so it was a disappointment.

When she had put her clothes back on (she was quite scruffy), she phoned her taxi driver, who was reluctant to pick her up. D. pleaded with her and had a little temper tantrum, the same kind of temper tantrum that I had seen happen with K. and the woman in the documentary I saw. I had given her fifty pounds.

I never invited D. back to my flat. I would be very tempted to have two girls come to my flat but I'm not going to risk it. It would be difficult to keep control of one drugged up girl let alone two. I imagined one of them in the bathroom phoning her friends and inviting them to come round. Not what I had in mind.

A few weeks later I saw D. in the street. She called out to me. I went over and she gave me a big hug. She seemed completely different and back to her normal self.

Perhaps the first girl I ever saw on the common was N., about seven years ago. She looked like a teenager then. For some reason I never paid her much attention after that, not for several years. She seemed to be there all the time. She had her own area of the common away from the other girls.

I remember once I approached her. She tried to persuade me to have sex with her. She said that I could come in her mouth. She said something about how she needed to pay these men off. There were a couple of men hanging about.

A couple of years ago I saw her on the common after I hadn't seen her for a while. She looked quite healthy. I said that I don't really like to have sex on the common and she said she had a flat we could go to. She asked me how much I normally pay for that and I told her thirty pounds. She gave me her phone number and some days later I phoned her.

She told me to wait for her at a train station. She told me she had just come from court and that she had to write a letter to the judge. We went to her flat and I said I would like a blowjob. We took off all our clothes and I lay on the bed. She said I could come in her mouth but I would have to tell her when I was coming. While she was giving me a blowjob she pushed her bum into my face. I don't know if she wanted me to lick her pussy. She had put the TV on, there was a programme about antiques, because she is interested in antiques.

I went to her flat a second time a few weeks later. It was then that I asked her which girls I should avoid on the common. She said 'Next time let's go to your flat'. Several weeks later I tried to contact her. I left a voicemail message for her and then a text, inviting her to come to my flat. I didn't get a reply.

I met a woman on the common earlier this year called C. She is heavily addicted but seems a nice person and very friendly. I asked her to tell me what goes on at Brixton Hill and she told me that she had been robbed last night.

I asked her if she knew K. and N. She said that K. can be very rude and insulting. I asked if she could give N. my phone number because I wanted to see N. again. When she realized that I had got the two N.s mixed up she said that the N. that I had known didn't really do it anymore. She said that they knew her as 'Nine-fingered N.'.

I didn't expect to see N. again. I was hoping that she had given up drugs. One day I was on the common and she came up to me. Normally I would have been delighted to see her. The problem was that she looked really dreadful. I had a little chat with her but I made an excuse not to go with her. I said that I had only just got there and I wanted to look around to see which girls were there. She told me that she expected Mummy to come to the common because she usually came in the afternoons. I asked her who she meant and she told me about an older woman they call 'Mummy' who looks after the girls.

Several years ago I encountered a woman called J. She was one of the only two women who seemed to physically respond to my probings. I saw her this year in the company of a very nice young woman. I took the young woman into the bushes and gave her ten pounds. She told me she doesn't do drugs, she likes alcohol. She had full breasts. Addicts have lost that. I said I would like her to come to my flat and she agreed to give me J.s number as she was staying with her. She said she calls her J. but also Mummy.

When I phoned a few days later J. said she would pass on the message, but I didn't hear from her. I saw J. weeks later and she said the young woman had moved out and was in rehab.
I was upset after my encounter with N. I assumed that she had been taking too many drugs. It could have been that she wasn't wearing any makeup that day. I have seen K. without makeup. It could even be that she has Aids. I asked her which N. she was and she held up her hand. She had only three fingers and a thumb. I hadn't noticed before. She said it was an accident with a tin opener.

It would be nice if N. had given up drugs or cut right down and that she kept a few regular punters, including me. That's what I would really like. I would like to know a local girl, perhaps a young mother who needs a bit of extra cash. Then I wouldn't go to Tooting Bec Common any more, or to Soho either.

I have been to Soho many times over the years. The girls can be very beautiful and healthy looking and don't cost much money. I don't believe they have been trafficked. I have checked out my local brothel but it is more expensive.

About thirty years ago I went to visit my sister in rehab. She was an alcoholic. One day she told me about a girl who was planning to leave rehab. She said she was a heroin addict and she was offering herself to men to get money. I had seen this girl and she looked pretty and nice. An ordinary girl, not rough looking at all. My reaction to hearing this was a mixture of horror and fascination and sexual arousal.

Since that time I have been fascinated by street girls. Every so often a documentary appears on TV about street girls and I find it fascinating. I saw one about three girls east London which was very sad. I saw one made by a man who filmed a former schoolmate of his who was an addict in Toxteth, Liverpool. He showed a photo he had of her when she was about ten in her school uniform. She looked like an ordinary girl, smiling and sweet. It made me think it could so easily happen to anyone.

more about K.

part 3 of blog 'Secret Diary of a Street Girl' by Bête de Nuit

When I saw K. I was shocked by her appearance. She was wearing a lot of makeup and she had got some of it in her hair. She looked really strange. I knew that I didn't want to have sex with her, but I wanted to talk to her. I said I wanted to photograph her. We went to the cashpoint and she tried to snatch the money out of my hands. I didn't let her and she became frustrated and upset. I remembered watching a documentary on TV about a crack addict in Liverpool who became upset when she was frustrated, in the same way, like a child having a temper tantrum.

She asked me to give her some money to pay her driver. She went to talk to a man parked up in a blue van. I don't know what he said to her, but she looked at him with a look of such intense hatred that I have never seen on the face of anyone before or since. When she came back to me she pointed out some recycling bins and said that she would be going through them after she had been with me to find things to wear.

We went into the supermarket to buy booze, some food and a film for my camera. People were giving her funny looks because she looked really weird. She looked a bit like an old woman and a bit like a bag lady. I felt really out of my depth. She wanted me to hand over the money but I wouldn't in case she walked off with it. She kept telling me I should trust her and in the end I thought it would be OK as long as I kept an eye on her. When I was looking for a film she said "I'll go and get some champagne". I didn't want to let her out of my sight but if I had said something she would have got upset again.

I think this is something these girls learn how to do. Few men are stupid enough to hand over money before they get to the flat. If a girl makes a lot of fuss then the man may think it would be OK as long as he doesn't let her out of his sight. Then she'll say she just has to buy some condoms or something and he has to decide if he wants to stop her going off. If he does she will say "I thought we'd been through this, don't you trust me by now?".

There were a couple of reasons why I didn't think she would walk off with my money. I knew where she lived, or as good as. She could have had the money without stealing from me, all she had to do was to let me photograph her. But she was on a crack binge and she wanted money now. She didn't care about the future.

I had the mobile number she had used to contact me. I tried to contact her without success. I left a voicemail message for her driver. I didn't know if he was a drug dealer, pimp or boyfriend but I wanted someone to blame for the condition she was in. I said that I was going to track him down and kill him. I didn't really want to kill him just to scare him. I would have smashed his van up though.

I didn't like the idea of her drinking champagne with him when she should have been with me. Especially if they were laughing at me. I knew that she had bought some champagne because I saw her at the checkouts with some. When she saw me she said "Can you get some alcopops for me?".

I didn't expect to hear from her again, but later that evening she phoned me. I had calmed down so I said I forgave her. She said she would come round later. I was really surprised that she said that. I said "I think we'd better just leave it". I didn't want to add to her problems because I could see she had enough problems of her own.

I thought that was the end of the matter. However, the next day I turned on my mobile phone and there were 2 abusive and disrespectful voicemail messages from her and a text message that I thought at the time was from him. This made me really angry. I had considered that when she had said she wanted to come to my flat the previous evening she really had wanted to know where I lived so they could smash my windows or something. Now I was convinced this was true.

It didn't take me long to find out where she lived. I went on the internet and found the site of a hostel in Clapham. I phoned the number and asked to speak to K. A helpful man said that she wasn't there at the moment but he could give her a message from me. I then typed out a threatening letter to her. I didn't expect to get the money back, I just wanted to teach her some respect. I wouldn't have hurt her.

I didn't think she would be frightened by my letter, but I did think she would be irritated. I didn't expect to get a reply. She left a couple of messages on my voicemail saying she wanted to talk to me. Then a message from a man who I think was her therapist who was concerned about her. I wrote her another letter saying I forgave her and that I wouldn't try to contact her again.
One day I turned on my mobile and there was a voicemail message for me. I could hear this sad music and after a while I heard her voice mumbling something incoherent and then she hung up. It wasn't abusive. She sounded as if she was drunk.

Several weeks later I sent her another letter. I said I would like to buy her video from her. She phoned me and said that she had got rid of her 'friend', the van driver, because he had said he would look after her but had become a bully. I went to Clapham to meet her. She told me he delivered newspapers for a living. I could have asked her for his name and address or other details and then done something nasty to him. But I didn't hate him that much by this time.
She apologised for being difficult with me and said that her 'friend' had given her a book about child abuse that had upset her. She also said that he had not wanted her to see me because he had wanted to stop anything good happening to her. I asked her if she took heroin as well as crack cocaine and she said no, although a lot of the girls do.

She wanted to know why I had become angry with her after I had forgiven her for stealing from me. I didn't tell her about the abusive and disrespectful voicemail messages. She had no memory of them. I told her about the text message. She wanted to read it. Now I think it could have been her who sent it.

I asked K. to come to my flat. She said she would, and asked me to get some 'K' cider for her. She didn't come though, and I didn't see her again for a couple of years.

I saw her again on Tooting Bec Common. She wasn't wearing any make up and didn't look pretty. She was also very thin, almost skeletal. I didn't want to have sex with her but I wanted to talk to her and I gave her a tenner. I put the other 2 tenners I had back into my shirt pocket. To my surprise she snatched the money out of the pocket. I grabbed her arm and she warned me to let go of her of it. I let go of her and she started trying to have sex with me. I said I didn't want that.

I told her that if she needed someone reliable to talk to about her feelings and things that had happened to her then she could always talk to me. I gave her my mobile number.

She didn't phone me but I did see her once again on the common. She was wearing make up this time and she looked quite pretty and cute. She said that it had been her birthday but she hadn't got many presents. She told me she'd had a sarcastic note from her mother. Ever since I first met K. she has talked about her birthday. It seems very important to her. She mentioned her 'friend' again and said that the real reason she had got rid of him was because he had tried to set up a gang-bang on the internet.

I asked her where she was living now and if she was thinking about rehab. I asked her how much money she spent each day on crack. She was reluctant to tell me but then said it was over a hundred pounds a day. I mentioned another girl called N. who I had been seeing. She said "She's another one who gets into debt with black men".

This was a couple of years ago and I haven't seen her or heard from her since. I know that people will say that crack addicts are only concerned about crack and the money to buy it, and that I was foolish for me to have anything to do with this type of girl. You may say that the only time that they seem to have feelings in when they pretend to, just to get what they want. I'm not so sure. I have reason to believe that recently she fell in love with a man but that he rejected her. I have seen lots of women on the common and one or two seemed really evil, but I just don't feel that with her.

I don't regret my association with K, even though she has stolen from me and told lies to me. I have had an insight into a world that no one who isn't an addict can imagine.

I'm not stupid. I would never let a crack addict stay in my flat, even for one night. I would never lend one money. I have never thought that I could 'save' K. I have always thought that she would die a crack addict. She is also on her way to being an alcoholic, if she is not one already. It is only recently that I have seen that some people can come off crack.

I think she frequents the Brixton Hill/New Park Road area in the early hours of the morning and gets into men's cars.

In my next blog posting I can tell you about other girls that I have met on the common.

on the common

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