Last Friday I decided to go to a place in Bromley that I hadn't been to before. What made me want to go is that on the PunterNet forum someone said that he had encountered a 'stunning Mexican girl' although they usually have Thai girls there. The place is Laurens Adult Massage on Widmore Road.
I phoned and asked if I could see Amanda and I was directed to a flat. The woman who answered the door didn't look anything like I was expecting so I told her that I'm supposed to be meeting someone called Amanda. She said that she is Amanda. She didn't look Mexican at all, she was blonde. I decided to go along with it but throughout the session I thought she looks and sounds like an Eastern European.
She's actually quite an attractive woman, like a high-class escort, but it took me a while to appreciate that because I had been expecting something different. I paid £60 for half an hour of massage, body to body, and hand relief. It was a nice flat too. I just relaxed and let her do her thing.
The day before I had been in Soho. I had found out that there's a brothel in Soho, along with all of the walk ups. Someone had done a report on it on PunterNet. There's a black girl there called Zoe. It is number 8A Old Compton Street. When I got to the door I wasn't sure which flat to ring. There are three flats, and I think Flat 1 is the brothel. The label had a little heart drawn next to the flat number. I rang and said "Is Zoe there today?". The woman said Zoe only does weekends. I said "Who do you have there today?" and I was told to come up.
The maid or madam took me into one of the bedrooms and answered my questions. The minimum price is £50 which is for about 20 minutes. They have two girls there at a time and I could have taken my pick. I hoped to catch a glimpse of the girls but I thought I was pushing my luck and I had already told her I was only interested in Zoe.
The same day I went to Asian Touch which is a Thai massage place on Shaftesbury Avenue. I wanted to go there because someone had said there's an 'absolutely stunning girl' there. They told me I could come back at 5pm. I went to 26 Romilly Street to see Lulu. When I got up the stairs I saw the sign for Lulu but instead of the expected sign for Meena there was one for someone called Asia, and that she is Indian/Moroccan.
So I went to see Asia instead of Lulu. Asia is tall, with a dark skin like someone from the Mediterranean or the Middle East. She has small breasts and is neither skinny or fat. I got on top of her which I liked but I can't come that way. Later I asked the maid what has happened to Meena and she said that they hadn't heard from her for weeks. It sounds as if Meena won't be in Soho any more. Perhaps she ran up debts before she departed, they have to pay about £300 a day for the flat, it would make sense for them not to pay rent for as long as they could get away with if they're going.
I looked at the time on my mobile and realized I could be back at Asian Touch for 5pm. The girl was indeed pretty but it was dark in the room so I'm not sure if this girl is the absolutely stunning girl someone had mentioned. I'm used to the Chinese places, here it was a bit different, she used hot oils.
Last month I was in Croydon on a Thursday. I saw a Chinese woman who runs a Chinese medical establishment. When she was massaging me I asked her to put a finger up my bum, then two fingers. I already knew she is into this because I had seen her before. I said "I feel that you are the man and I am the woman". She laughed, asked me if I wanted to know how it feels, and moved her fingers in and out. The same day I went to a Thai brothel in Brighton Road. I saw Vicky and achieved orgasm while looking at her pussy and wanking myself.
The next day I went to Soho. First I saw Sandra at 26 Romilly Street. She is Thai. She wasn't very co-operative. I went back there later that day and saw Melanie. Melanie is also Thai, is older and tries harder to please. I had an orgasm with her, the same way as with Vicky the previous day.
The easiest way for me to orgasm is to have an oriental woman lie back on the bed with her legs wide apart and for me to wank myself while looking at her pussy and her talking dirty. It would help if they were stunningly beautiful, and I am always interested in stunners, but that's not the most important thing.
When this blog began it was about my experience of prostitution in South London and Soho. Now it is mostly about my experiences in North West England.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
behind the towel
I watched a very enlightening documentary recently. It was called Confessions of a Male Stripper. It answered a question that I have had in my mind for many years. How far do they go? My interest in this subject was started when I saw a late-night game show on TV (probably Channel 4 again) where they showed a photograph which had been partly blanked out. The photograph was of one of the participants on the game show that night. It was a middle-aged or elderly woman, an actress in one of the soap operas - possibly Coronation Street.
It looked as if she was licking the penis of a male stripper. The penis had been blanked out, but not so much that you couldn't work out what was going on. I thought that this was the tackiest thing that I had ever seen.
Years later I saw another documentary where two young women got into the back of a taxi after a night out. One of the young women was very euphoric and talkative, the other one was silent. Someone asked if the silent woman was OK. The talkative one said that the silent one had never been to see a male stripper before, hadn't known what to expect and was shocked. I wondered what it was that the young woman had seen that had shocked her into silence.
There are a lot of videos on the internet showing male strippers. They show a number of women performing sex acts on a male stripper. Usually they look as if they have been staged for the camera. Some of them however have middle-aged or plain women who obviously aren't porn stars. These videos look as though they are actual recordings of what some women get up to when they are on a night out with a male stripper.
I went onto the PunterNet forum and asked the question. How far do women go? Do they perform oral sex on the stripper? The consensus seemed to be that I must be naive to think that these videos depict the activities of real women, that they are all staged with porn actresses.
I wasn't so sure. Then I watched Confessions of a Male Stripper and it showed women sucking male strippers on stage. The women come onto the stage and each sits on a chair. The strippers stand in front of them with towels around their waists. The strippers open the towel so that the woman sitting in the chair in front of him can see his cock. He is close enough to her that she can do what she likes without everybody seeing. The towel obscures their view. She might just want to have a look and giggle, or she might want to touch, or she might want to give him oral sex.
These are the Dreamboys, who are a well known group of male strippers. It makes me wonder what the less high profile strippers get up to. I don't think they bother with towels.
Another documentary I saw recently is one showing young people in Magaluf. It showed a bar with young women giving a blowjob to random men as part of a drinking game. So now we know what the average young woman wants from a good night out.
Radical feminists want to ban stripping. They have achieved this in Iceland. I remember listening to a radical feminist on the radio who said that when women go to see a male stripper it's completely different from when men go to see a female stripper. She said that for the women it isn't an erotic experience. I'm sure many people think this, that the women just go there to laugh.
I don't believe that it isn't an erotic experience for the women. The experience is different for men and women. Women are much more vocal, they shout a lot. Apparently WE WANT COCK! is something commonly shouted in unison over and over again at a particular stage in the proceedings. That doesn't mean that it's not erotic though. So, if they ban women strippers they should ban male strippers too. I don't think they should ban either though because I don't think there's anything wrong with what they do.
Confessions of a Male Stripper can be seen here. The documentary about young Brits in Magaluf is not available but you can find out more about it here.
It looked as if she was licking the penis of a male stripper. The penis had been blanked out, but not so much that you couldn't work out what was going on. I thought that this was the tackiest thing that I had ever seen.
Years later I saw another documentary where two young women got into the back of a taxi after a night out. One of the young women was very euphoric and talkative, the other one was silent. Someone asked if the silent woman was OK. The talkative one said that the silent one had never been to see a male stripper before, hadn't known what to expect and was shocked. I wondered what it was that the young woman had seen that had shocked her into silence.
There are a lot of videos on the internet showing male strippers. They show a number of women performing sex acts on a male stripper. Usually they look as if they have been staged for the camera. Some of them however have middle-aged or plain women who obviously aren't porn stars. These videos look as though they are actual recordings of what some women get up to when they are on a night out with a male stripper.
I went onto the PunterNet forum and asked the question. How far do women go? Do they perform oral sex on the stripper? The consensus seemed to be that I must be naive to think that these videos depict the activities of real women, that they are all staged with porn actresses.
I wasn't so sure. Then I watched Confessions of a Male Stripper and it showed women sucking male strippers on stage. The women come onto the stage and each sits on a chair. The strippers stand in front of them with towels around their waists. The strippers open the towel so that the woman sitting in the chair in front of him can see his cock. He is close enough to her that she can do what she likes without everybody seeing. The towel obscures their view. She might just want to have a look and giggle, or she might want to touch, or she might want to give him oral sex.
These are the Dreamboys, who are a well known group of male strippers. It makes me wonder what the less high profile strippers get up to. I don't think they bother with towels.
Another documentary I saw recently is one showing young people in Magaluf. It showed a bar with young women giving a blowjob to random men as part of a drinking game. So now we know what the average young woman wants from a good night out.
Radical feminists want to ban stripping. They have achieved this in Iceland. I remember listening to a radical feminist on the radio who said that when women go to see a male stripper it's completely different from when men go to see a female stripper. She said that for the women it isn't an erotic experience. I'm sure many people think this, that the women just go there to laugh.
I don't believe that it isn't an erotic experience for the women. The experience is different for men and women. Women are much more vocal, they shout a lot. Apparently WE WANT COCK! is something commonly shouted in unison over and over again at a particular stage in the proceedings. That doesn't mean that it's not erotic though. So, if they ban women strippers they should ban male strippers too. I don't think they should ban either though because I don't think there's anything wrong with what they do.
Confessions of a Male Stripper can be seen here. The documentary about young Brits in Magaluf is not available but you can find out more about it here.
Monday, June 3, 2013
lucky west end girls
I have just finished reading a new book by Violet Ivy about the sex industry called Lucky Girl. It is an account of her life and in particular her involvment in different areas of the sex industry on three continents. I was especially interested in her time at the Soho walk ups, which is the area that I know most about, but her life story starts in a small town in Australia.
As a young adult she moves to the city. Finding work is difficult so she tries serving beers in a sleazy bar wearing next to no clothing. Not being happy with this she progresses to stripping. Eventually she decides to try prostitution. Her account of what she has to go though, especially the first time she has sex for money, is quite harrowing. So too is her account of her first anal sex where she is injured and robbed.
She goes to work for a year in a brothel in Kalgoorlie (I don't know where that is either). It is only when she comes to Melbourne and a high-class brothel there that things begin to look up for her. Although happy at this place, she wants to travel, so she moves to Las Vegas and works as a stripper and a sex worker. She paints a fascinating picture of a world of orgies attended by her - group bookings - against a background of the desperate gambling addicts she sees on the streets and in the casinos of Las Vegas.
Again on the move, she comes to London. Although working in the Soho walk ups is not her first option, she endures it until she is headhunted by an elite fetish brothel in Mayfair. Returning to Australia despite loving her work in Mayfair, the pinnacle of her career is accompanying a leading actor to an award ceremony. He is a gay man who needs to pretend to the world to have a girlfriend, and Violet provides that service for him.
While in Soho she is threatened by an Albanian pimp. She sends him packing. The girl in the flat above her is attacked. The police try to help, but this is in the days when CCTV was uncommon in the walk ups and maids could not always be afforded. Maids get a £2 tip from every customer but the sex worker has to pay her £60 per day. She also has to pay £240 to £280 per day in rent for the flat. Some days some of the sex workers were unable to make that amount of money and could get into debt.
Some of the readers of this blog might remember her. She called herself Sydney then and she worked in Peter Street in Soho and perhaps other places too. This would have been more than 10 years ago. There were a couple of other Australian girls working in Soho then too.
One thing I liked was her account of how she tried her best to help a 32 year old virgin enjoy his first experience of sex. She showed great sensitivity to his needs and was aware that her actions could affect his future relations with women.
Violet writes about her experience of what is perhaps the biggest problem in the life of sex workers, and that is the problem of boyfriends. A sex worker might meet a lovely man and want to have a relationship with him. Only an unsatisfactory man would accept his girlfriend working as a prostitute. So she might keep her work a secret and always fear he might find out, remain single, or accept as a boyfriend a man who might try to exploit her.
A while ago I read the book West End Girls by Barbara Tate. Barbara was a maid in Soho walk ups soon after the end of World War 2. Although the information is a bit out of date now, there is one area especially where she is relevant to today, the problem of boyfriends.
Barbara wrote that there weren't any pimps in Soho but some of the women had ponces. A ponce isn't the same as a pimp. A ponce is a man who tries to form an emotional relationship with a sex worker, not because he cares for her but because he intends to exploit her. He emotionally manipulates her and gets her to hand over her money to him. He tells her that he will invest it for their future together.
In Tate's Soho a ponce was often a Maltese man who would try to hook an established prostitute - who was nearly always a British woman. I think that many of the women in Soho today have men like this. The women are from Eastern Europe and the men are from their own country, maybe their own town. They could be 'boyfriends' who persuade them they can have a good life together in London.
Taking the two books together, it seems to confirm that the clever women are the ones who use sex work to make as much money as possible, bank it or make sensible investments, then leave. They can use the money to set themselves up, do what they really want to do in life, and they don't have to lie to their boyfriends about what they do.
Lucky Girl is a very informative and enjoyable read. We need to hear more about women's experience of the world of sex work and its unusual and occasionally frightening characters. You can buy the book at many places: Amazon, BookLocker and Book Depository. Violet has her own website.
As a young adult she moves to the city. Finding work is difficult so she tries serving beers in a sleazy bar wearing next to no clothing. Not being happy with this she progresses to stripping. Eventually she decides to try prostitution. Her account of what she has to go though, especially the first time she has sex for money, is quite harrowing. So too is her account of her first anal sex where she is injured and robbed.
She goes to work for a year in a brothel in Kalgoorlie (I don't know where that is either). It is only when she comes to Melbourne and a high-class brothel there that things begin to look up for her. Although happy at this place, she wants to travel, so she moves to Las Vegas and works as a stripper and a sex worker. She paints a fascinating picture of a world of orgies attended by her - group bookings - against a background of the desperate gambling addicts she sees on the streets and in the casinos of Las Vegas.
Again on the move, she comes to London. Although working in the Soho walk ups is not her first option, she endures it until she is headhunted by an elite fetish brothel in Mayfair. Returning to Australia despite loving her work in Mayfair, the pinnacle of her career is accompanying a leading actor to an award ceremony. He is a gay man who needs to pretend to the world to have a girlfriend, and Violet provides that service for him.
While in Soho she is threatened by an Albanian pimp. She sends him packing. The girl in the flat above her is attacked. The police try to help, but this is in the days when CCTV was uncommon in the walk ups and maids could not always be afforded. Maids get a £2 tip from every customer but the sex worker has to pay her £60 per day. She also has to pay £240 to £280 per day in rent for the flat. Some days some of the sex workers were unable to make that amount of money and could get into debt.
Some of the readers of this blog might remember her. She called herself Sydney then and she worked in Peter Street in Soho and perhaps other places too. This would have been more than 10 years ago. There were a couple of other Australian girls working in Soho then too.
One thing I liked was her account of how she tried her best to help a 32 year old virgin enjoy his first experience of sex. She showed great sensitivity to his needs and was aware that her actions could affect his future relations with women.
Violet writes about her experience of what is perhaps the biggest problem in the life of sex workers, and that is the problem of boyfriends. A sex worker might meet a lovely man and want to have a relationship with him. Only an unsatisfactory man would accept his girlfriend working as a prostitute. So she might keep her work a secret and always fear he might find out, remain single, or accept as a boyfriend a man who might try to exploit her.
A while ago I read the book West End Girls by Barbara Tate. Barbara was a maid in Soho walk ups soon after the end of World War 2. Although the information is a bit out of date now, there is one area especially where she is relevant to today, the problem of boyfriends.
Barbara wrote that there weren't any pimps in Soho but some of the women had ponces. A ponce isn't the same as a pimp. A ponce is a man who tries to form an emotional relationship with a sex worker, not because he cares for her but because he intends to exploit her. He emotionally manipulates her and gets her to hand over her money to him. He tells her that he will invest it for their future together.
In Tate's Soho a ponce was often a Maltese man who would try to hook an established prostitute - who was nearly always a British woman. I think that many of the women in Soho today have men like this. The women are from Eastern Europe and the men are from their own country, maybe their own town. They could be 'boyfriends' who persuade them they can have a good life together in London.
Taking the two books together, it seems to confirm that the clever women are the ones who use sex work to make as much money as possible, bank it or make sensible investments, then leave. They can use the money to set themselves up, do what they really want to do in life, and they don't have to lie to their boyfriends about what they do.
Lucky Girl is a very informative and enjoyable read. We need to hear more about women's experience of the world of sex work and its unusual and occasionally frightening characters. You can buy the book at many places: Amazon, BookLocker and Book Depository. Violet has her own website.
Violet Ivy |
Sunday, May 26, 2013
no names no photographs
I got an email a few days ago from an angry sex worker. She found out that I had put a photograph of her on my blog. She wanted it removed. I did what she told me to do.
About three years ago I found out about a woman who lived a short bus ride from me. She does erotic massage. She comes from a Mediterranean country and is young and beautiful. I sent her an email and asked her if there are any photographs of her on the internet. She replied with a photo of her face. She hadn't modified it in such a way that she couldn't be identified. I went to see her and it was a pleasant experience, different from what I was used to. I wrote about her on this blog. I didn't give her name or her AdultWork page, but I did use the photo.
I wanted people to see how beautiful some of the women are who are available. She is as beautiful as the photo in my previous post, the photo that I thought was of a Liverpool prostitute but turned out to be of a leading model. She has the same dark Mediterranean beauty. I think she must be even more beautiful when she's angry. It's a pity she doesn't go in for domination. I deserve to be punished.
I don't think that putting her photo on my blog was much of a risk to her but I can understand that she doesn't want people pointing her out in Sainsbury's and saying something like "You see that woman there - she likes to hold men's erections in her hand and watch the semen squirting out the end of it".
In October last year I was walking to my local supermarket when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I saw a thin scruffy woman. My immediate thought was that she is a street girl. After years of trying to locate street girls on Tooting Bec Common it is a look that I have come to recognise instantly. I looked at her face. She gave me a big broad smile, the sort of sweet smile that women can do when they really want to. She seemed kind of familiar.
I didn't know if she was an ordinary woman who was flattered by a man staring at her. Or a street girl who is always open to meeting new men. Or one of the women who I had known on the Common. She was really beautiful. I thought she might be the particular one that I had been most involved with, but I couldn't be sure. This particular woman is someone I have written about a lot when I started this blog years ago.
(This is not the street girl who has been in contact with me via email recently and who wrote two posts for this blog about her life. These two posts have been removed. She asked me to remove them because she was worried people might be able to work out that it was her who had written them.)
She had a man with her. I always said that if I saw one of the women who I had known on the Common in the street with a man then I wouldn't approach her and try to talk to her. I wouldn't want to cause a problem for them. If the man didn't know about her past he might say "Who the hell was that you were talking to?". Also, the man she was with looked quite tough and he might have taken offence with me for trying to talk to his partner.
About two weeks ago I saw her again, alone. I went up to her and said "Are you (her name, but I'm not going to reveal it)?" We had a short conversation and then her boyfriend came along. She said "This is my boyfriend" and introduced me to him. She said goodbye and walked away.
She wasn't as beautiful as she was when I saw her a few months ago outside the supermarket. Women can seem more or less beautiful depending on their mood that day or maybe phases of the menstrual cycle. I thought that her face didn't look as thin as I remembered from years ago. Addicts do put on weight when they give up drugs.
She looked healthy. She looks as if she has given up drugs. Over the years I have asked people if they know what has happened to her. I was told by one person that she injects heroin in odd places. Later I was told by someone else that she was in prison. More recently someone told me that she'd been sectioned. She had been one of the two women on the Common who had seemed the most addicted, to crack cocaine and heroin.
When I started writing about her on this blog years ago I used her initial and not her name, as I did with all the women I met on the Common and in my neighbourhood. When I started thinking that she might be dead I thought it wouldn't do any harm to use her name and the only photograph that I have of her. Now that I know that she is not only not dead but seems to have overcome her multiple addictions I have gone though the posts on this blog removing her name and the photo.
I wouldn't want any information on this blog about her to become a problem for her. I wish her all the best for the future. If I see her again I would like to tell her that she should be proud of herself for having overcome such difficult addictions and other problems, and that if she can do that then she can accomplish anything.
I am glad that she not only remembered me but doesn't consider me to be an abuser. When I knew her on the Common I tried to be good to her. I think she thought that I was trying to save her. However, I believed that few people overcome heavy addiction to crack cocaine and heroin and that she would end up dead. I was wrong.
About three years ago I found out about a woman who lived a short bus ride from me. She does erotic massage. She comes from a Mediterranean country and is young and beautiful. I sent her an email and asked her if there are any photographs of her on the internet. She replied with a photo of her face. She hadn't modified it in such a way that she couldn't be identified. I went to see her and it was a pleasant experience, different from what I was used to. I wrote about her on this blog. I didn't give her name or her AdultWork page, but I did use the photo.
I wanted people to see how beautiful some of the women are who are available. She is as beautiful as the photo in my previous post, the photo that I thought was of a Liverpool prostitute but turned out to be of a leading model. She has the same dark Mediterranean beauty. I think she must be even more beautiful when she's angry. It's a pity she doesn't go in for domination. I deserve to be punished.
I don't think that putting her photo on my blog was much of a risk to her but I can understand that she doesn't want people pointing her out in Sainsbury's and saying something like "You see that woman there - she likes to hold men's erections in her hand and watch the semen squirting out the end of it".
In October last year I was walking to my local supermarket when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I saw a thin scruffy woman. My immediate thought was that she is a street girl. After years of trying to locate street girls on Tooting Bec Common it is a look that I have come to recognise instantly. I looked at her face. She gave me a big broad smile, the sort of sweet smile that women can do when they really want to. She seemed kind of familiar.
I didn't know if she was an ordinary woman who was flattered by a man staring at her. Or a street girl who is always open to meeting new men. Or one of the women who I had known on the Common. She was really beautiful. I thought she might be the particular one that I had been most involved with, but I couldn't be sure. This particular woman is someone I have written about a lot when I started this blog years ago.
(This is not the street girl who has been in contact with me via email recently and who wrote two posts for this blog about her life. These two posts have been removed. She asked me to remove them because she was worried people might be able to work out that it was her who had written them.)
She had a man with her. I always said that if I saw one of the women who I had known on the Common in the street with a man then I wouldn't approach her and try to talk to her. I wouldn't want to cause a problem for them. If the man didn't know about her past he might say "Who the hell was that you were talking to?". Also, the man she was with looked quite tough and he might have taken offence with me for trying to talk to his partner.
this is not her but it reminds me of her |
She wasn't as beautiful as she was when I saw her a few months ago outside the supermarket. Women can seem more or less beautiful depending on their mood that day or maybe phases of the menstrual cycle. I thought that her face didn't look as thin as I remembered from years ago. Addicts do put on weight when they give up drugs.
She looked healthy. She looks as if she has given up drugs. Over the years I have asked people if they know what has happened to her. I was told by one person that she injects heroin in odd places. Later I was told by someone else that she was in prison. More recently someone told me that she'd been sectioned. She had been one of the two women on the Common who had seemed the most addicted, to crack cocaine and heroin.
When I started writing about her on this blog years ago I used her initial and not her name, as I did with all the women I met on the Common and in my neighbourhood. When I started thinking that she might be dead I thought it wouldn't do any harm to use her name and the only photograph that I have of her. Now that I know that she is not only not dead but seems to have overcome her multiple addictions I have gone though the posts on this blog removing her name and the photo.
I wouldn't want any information on this blog about her to become a problem for her. I wish her all the best for the future. If I see her again I would like to tell her that she should be proud of herself for having overcome such difficult addictions and other problems, and that if she can do that then she can accomplish anything.
I am glad that she not only remembered me but doesn't consider me to be an abuser. When I knew her on the Common I tried to be good to her. I think she thought that I was trying to save her. However, I believed that few people overcome heavy addiction to crack cocaine and heroin and that she would end up dead. I was wrong.
the southeastern corner of Tooting Bec Common near to where the street girls used to congregate |
Thursday, May 16, 2013
looking for cheap prostitutes in Liverpool
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Living Dolls and The Sex Myth
I am reading two books on the same subjects; prostitution, erotic dancing and pornography. Natasha Walter has written Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism. Dr Brooke Magnanti has written The Sex Myth: Why Everything We're Told Is Wrong. Natasha Walter is a feminist and has a negative view of prostitution etc. Dr Magnanti has been a sex worker (known as Belle de Jour) and is an expert in statistical analysis.
Natasha Walter writes that the number of sexual assaults increased in Camden Town in London after lap-dancing clubs opened. Dr Magnanti has shown in that this research (done by the Lilith Project) is false. She devotes the whole of Chapter 4 of her book to showing how poor the Lilith Project research is.
Other 'facts' in Living Dolls are:-
All these figures are to set us up for her conclusion that prostitution isn't a real choice and therefore it is acceptable to take that choice away from women.
The figures of 85% of prostitutes reporting physical abuse in the family and 45% reporting familial sexual abuse are dealt with by Dr Magnanti in Chapter 8. The research was the result of a handful of interviews, no control group, and is statistically pointless.
Walter writes in Living Dolls that she met and talked to a prostitute she calls Angela. Angela used words like 'dissociate' and 'psyche'. This reminded me of an article I read in the Guardian a few years ago by Emine Saner: 'You're consenting to being raped for money'. Saner wrote that she met and talked to a prostitute she called Karen. Karen also used these words. "You have to learn to dissociate your body from your mind which is dangerous for your psyche."
Could Angela and Karen be the same person? Angela in Living Dolls said "Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money". Karen in the Saner article said "Basically you've consented to being raped for money". Other things tie up in the two accounts. So who is Angela/Karen?
I did consider the possibility that she is a fantasist or someone like Valerie Lempereur who under the name Patricia Perquin wrote a book claiming to show the life of a Dutch prostitute in Amsterdam. Only it was a fabrication. Right-wing politicians used this book to push through changes in legislation restricting prostitution (just as feminist groups have been using the false statistic about Camden lap-dancing clubs to change the law to try and stop more clubs opening). Or perhaps Angela/Karen is a radical feminist (or a religious fundamentalist) who makes up stuff because she thinks she is helping the anti-prostitution cause. She is certainly a mouthpiece for feminist concepts such as dissociation.
When I re-read the Saner article carefully I realised that there was a lot of information that Karen has given about her career as a prostitute that Walter hasn't mentioned at all. Karen said that she's not a drug addict, she uses her earnings to save for her pension as well as pay her bills, she only needs to see five men per week to get enough money and the most men she has seen in one day is three. She gets paid £130 per hour (it used to be £170 till Eastern Europeans pushed prices down), has earned £1,500 in one sex session, and never has unprotected sex. When asked if she has experienced violence she answered 'Nearly' and refuses to see a man for a second time if she finds him physically unattractive.
It seems that Angela/Karen is more like Belle de Jour than Natasha Walter would like us to know. So I'm inclined to believe that Angela/Karen isn't a fabrication, if she'd wanted to make it all up to further the anti-prostitution cause then she could have made a better job of it.
Angela said that men sometimes asked if they could tie her up or gag her. Some also asked to have a threesome. It appears Angela didn't comply with these requests, yet she uses these as evidence that prostitution is becoming more violent.
Walter mentions the genre of books that include The Intimate Confessions of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour and Confessions of a Working Girl by Miss S. She dismisses the former but regards the latter as gospel truth. Miss S wrote that she continued to work in a brothel despite having a damaged, swollen and bleeding vagina.
She writes about PunterNet reviews and picks out some of the worst of them, using them as examples of what punters really think about sex workers. The reviews that she uses however are not representative of PunterNet reviews generally.
So what does the chapter in her book about prostitution add up to? Some statistics that might have been true of drug-addicted street prostitutes at one time, used to suggest that this is the reality of prostitution. The musings of Angela/Karen about her injured psyche (but nothing about her career as a prostitute because that would contradict the dodgy statistics). An unreliable paperback memoir. And some unrepresentative PunterNet reports. Not much really, is it?
It seems that what Natasha Walter is really bothered about is what she calls 'unemotional sex' or 'sex without much emotional engagement'. Lust is an emotion, but the emotion that she's thinking about is intimacy. She seems to think that sex without intimacy is degrading. As Angela said in Living Dolls: "All this push to get women to buy into porn and it's values - it's turning all women into paid or unpaid sex workers." As Karen said in the Saner article: "I believe there is a conspiracy to turn women into readily accessible semen receptacles." Natasha Walter is worried about 'The Return of Sexism'. I'm more worried about the return of Puritanism.
A woman can't consent to being raped. That's a contradiction in terms. It seems that the phrase 'Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money' was used by Angela only in the context of men asking to tie her up and gag her, perhaps because they wanted to enact a rape fantasy. She didn't think that all sex work is rape, although that makes a good headline for an article. Similarly, if you're a sex worker then you are paid for sex. There is no such thing as an unpaid sex worker.
What you get from reading Living Dolls is the idea that if a woman has sex without emotions/intimacy/commitment then she might just as well be a prostitute. The idea is that women don't really want promiscuous sex as fun, that it's only pressure from men or porn culture that makes women want to do it. That seems to me not only wrong but old fashioned and regressive. I don't have a problem with people wanting commitment, but it's not right for them to try and force it on the rest of us.
*since writing this I realize that four sex workers have been killed in New Zealand
Natasha Walter writes that the number of sexual assaults increased in Camden Town in London after lap-dancing clubs opened. Dr Magnanti has shown in that this research (done by the Lilith Project) is false. She devotes the whole of Chapter 4 of her book to showing how poor the Lilith Project research is.
Other 'facts' in Living Dolls are:-
- two-thirds of prostitutes have been assaulted by clients
- 85% of prostitutes reported physical abuse in the family
- 45% reported familial sexual abuse
- a majority of prostitutes involved before age of 16 or 17
- all have a problem with alcohol misuse
- majority used hard drugs
All these figures are to set us up for her conclusion that prostitution isn't a real choice and therefore it is acceptable to take that choice away from women.
"Despite the fact that they have not necessarily been forced into this work, these women are not exempt from levels of abuse that make a mockery of the normalisation of prostitution."She then goes on to write that 6 prostitutes are murdered every year. She doesn't write that no prostitutes are killed in New Zealand or the Netherlands*. She doesn't write that the reason prostitutes get killed in Britain in because people like her stand in the way of simple changes in the law that would make women a lot safer and probably remove the threat of death altogether.
The figures of 85% of prostitutes reporting physical abuse in the family and 45% reporting familial sexual abuse are dealt with by Dr Magnanti in Chapter 8. The research was the result of a handful of interviews, no control group, and is statistically pointless.
Walter writes in Living Dolls that she met and talked to a prostitute she calls Angela. Angela used words like 'dissociate' and 'psyche'. This reminded me of an article I read in the Guardian a few years ago by Emine Saner: 'You're consenting to being raped for money'. Saner wrote that she met and talked to a prostitute she called Karen. Karen also used these words. "You have to learn to dissociate your body from your mind which is dangerous for your psyche."
Could Angela and Karen be the same person? Angela in Living Dolls said "Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money". Karen in the Saner article said "Basically you've consented to being raped for money". Other things tie up in the two accounts. So who is Angela/Karen?
I did consider the possibility that she is a fantasist or someone like Valerie Lempereur who under the name Patricia Perquin wrote a book claiming to show the life of a Dutch prostitute in Amsterdam. Only it was a fabrication. Right-wing politicians used this book to push through changes in legislation restricting prostitution (just as feminist groups have been using the false statistic about Camden lap-dancing clubs to change the law to try and stop more clubs opening). Or perhaps Angela/Karen is a radical feminist (or a religious fundamentalist) who makes up stuff because she thinks she is helping the anti-prostitution cause. She is certainly a mouthpiece for feminist concepts such as dissociation.
When I re-read the Saner article carefully I realised that there was a lot of information that Karen has given about her career as a prostitute that Walter hasn't mentioned at all. Karen said that she's not a drug addict, she uses her earnings to save for her pension as well as pay her bills, she only needs to see five men per week to get enough money and the most men she has seen in one day is three. She gets paid £130 per hour (it used to be £170 till Eastern Europeans pushed prices down), has earned £1,500 in one sex session, and never has unprotected sex. When asked if she has experienced violence she answered 'Nearly' and refuses to see a man for a second time if she finds him physically unattractive.
It seems that Angela/Karen is more like Belle de Jour than Natasha Walter would like us to know. So I'm inclined to believe that Angela/Karen isn't a fabrication, if she'd wanted to make it all up to further the anti-prostitution cause then she could have made a better job of it.
Angela said that men sometimes asked if they could tie her up or gag her. Some also asked to have a threesome. It appears Angela didn't comply with these requests, yet she uses these as evidence that prostitution is becoming more violent.
Walter mentions the genre of books that include The Intimate Confessions of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour and Confessions of a Working Girl by Miss S. She dismisses the former but regards the latter as gospel truth. Miss S wrote that she continued to work in a brothel despite having a damaged, swollen and bleeding vagina.
She writes about PunterNet reviews and picks out some of the worst of them, using them as examples of what punters really think about sex workers. The reviews that she uses however are not representative of PunterNet reviews generally.
So what does the chapter in her book about prostitution add up to? Some statistics that might have been true of drug-addicted street prostitutes at one time, used to suggest that this is the reality of prostitution. The musings of Angela/Karen about her injured psyche (but nothing about her career as a prostitute because that would contradict the dodgy statistics). An unreliable paperback memoir. And some unrepresentative PunterNet reports. Not much really, is it?
It seems that what Natasha Walter is really bothered about is what she calls 'unemotional sex' or 'sex without much emotional engagement'. Lust is an emotion, but the emotion that she's thinking about is intimacy. She seems to think that sex without intimacy is degrading. As Angela said in Living Dolls: "All this push to get women to buy into porn and it's values - it's turning all women into paid or unpaid sex workers." As Karen said in the Saner article: "I believe there is a conspiracy to turn women into readily accessible semen receptacles." Natasha Walter is worried about 'The Return of Sexism'. I'm more worried about the return of Puritanism.
A woman can't consent to being raped. That's a contradiction in terms. It seems that the phrase 'Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money' was used by Angela only in the context of men asking to tie her up and gag her, perhaps because they wanted to enact a rape fantasy. She didn't think that all sex work is rape, although that makes a good headline for an article. Similarly, if you're a sex worker then you are paid for sex. There is no such thing as an unpaid sex worker.
What you get from reading Living Dolls is the idea that if a woman has sex without emotions/intimacy/commitment then she might just as well be a prostitute. The idea is that women don't really want promiscuous sex as fun, that it's only pressure from men or porn culture that makes women want to do it. That seems to me not only wrong but old fashioned and regressive. I don't have a problem with people wanting commitment, but it's not right for them to try and force it on the rest of us.
*since writing this I realize that four sex workers have been killed in New Zealand
Monday, April 22, 2013
Chinese sex workers
Like a lot of people these days I have recently experienced a drastic reduction in my income. So it's going to be fewer trips to Soho and Chinatown, and more trips to my local library. I am reading a couple of interesting books at the moment, The Sex Myth by Dr Brooke Magnanti and Living Dolls by Natasha Walter. They're quite interesting to read together because both books deal partly with the facts about sex work but from different perspectives. I will leave them for my next post though.
I was going to post on this blog about my experiences of sex work, because I think that's what most of my readers are interested in, and put anything else on the pages of the blog. Any information from the media or opinions I have about prostitution I tried to restrict to these pages. Now that I'm not going to have so many of these experiences, there will be more posts about information and opinions.
I have had some interesting experiences in the past couple of months however. I have been tempted to explore the world of Chinese massage in Goodge Street and the surrounding area. There are Chinese medical establishments all over London offering Chinese herbal medicine, acupuncture and massage. At most of these places if a man chooses massage he might be offered a sexual service, usually masturbation to orgasm. I have tried many of these places in Soho and Chinatown, and more recently in Goodge Street and nearby.
I saw a lovely girl who I had seen before and wanted to see again. She hitched up her top so that I could feel her breasts but I was more interested in below the waist. At one point I was sitting up on the massage couch and I had her shorts and knickers down. I was touching her bum with my left hand and her pussy with my right hand while she was wanking me, her pretty face just a few inches from mine.
I went to a different place and saw a very pretty girl who offered a limited service, just a 'happy ending', but it was still a wonderful experience. Part of the pleasure of going to these places is that you might be able to persuade a nice girl to go further than she does with most customers. If you're a regular customer, are generous, and make her laugh and feel at ease, who knows what she might do for you. One fantasy I have is persuading a pretty Chinese girl to suck my cock and her trying but giggling too much and not being able to, to begin with. The idea of her leaning forward with her mouth open but then collapsing in giggles is an appealing one.
Also I saw a slightly older and less pretty woman who was very raunchy. I got her shorts and knickers down, and then she took them off. She put one foot up on the massage couch and started wanking herself. I put the end of my finger in her vagina while she was doing it and she orgasmed, or seemed to. Afterwards she told me not to tell anyone. That's why I'm not using any names, or even which establishment. I don't think they would like that. They are nice girls and I wouldn't want to do anything to cause problems for them.
These places are not such good value for money as other places, such as the Soho walk ups, but they are clean and discreet and offer a nice little sexual adventure.
So I was interested when recently in the Guardian there was an article about Chinese sex workers. The brothel worker: 'I regret not working in the sex trade as soon as I got here' Posing as a maid, Hsiao-Hung Pai infiltrated the murky world of the UK sex trade and spoke to some of the migrant mothers desperately working to send money home to their families Lots of Chinese women come to Britain on a visa but overstay. They work illegally in low-paid jobs such as catering. After working a couple of years they find out about sex work. Those that try it tend to say they wish that they had found out about it years ago.
Overall, the article was positive about Chinese brothels. There were a few negative points though. The 'madam' of the brothel was verbally abusive. They work very long hours. Occasionally some men try to take the condom off, putting them at risk of an STD. They were expected to offer oral sex without a condom, but not penetrative sex without a condom.
What I believe is that sex workers should be able to set up on their own without the need for a 'pimp' or 'madam'. Then they won't get the verbal abuse and don't have to hand over half of their earnings. I know there are reasons why this might not be so easy, but I have dealt with these issues in another part of this blog.
I don't think there are that many Chinese women working in brothels. There are none in Soho and Chinatown, as far as I can tell. There are however lots of Chinese women who offer a limited sexual service working in the Chinese medical establishments. There are one or two of these places that are not much more than a brothel. Most offer some kind of sexual service. Some offer nothing sexual at all.
At one place I went to there was one woman who did nothing sexual at all, not even masturbation to orgasm. Another woman offered this but nothing more. Another one offered oral sex and nudity as well as masturbation. Someone said she has full penetrative sex too.
It seems that Chinese women have an option that others such as Eastern Europeans do not have. They could work in a brothel, like the women in the article, or they could do massage with a 'happy ending'. If they don't want to do even that they can just do massage, or if they're prepared to do more - for the right customer - they can earn quite a bit. So the reality is different from what many people believe, that they do not have many options.
Some people don't like the term 'sex worker'. They say it would be better to use the word prostitute. I think 'sex worker' is a useful term because it includes women who offer massage and masturbation to orgasm but don't offer penetrative sex. Perhaps it includes strippers and erotic dancers too.
I was going to post on this blog about my experiences of sex work, because I think that's what most of my readers are interested in, and put anything else on the pages of the blog. Any information from the media or opinions I have about prostitution I tried to restrict to these pages. Now that I'm not going to have so many of these experiences, there will be more posts about information and opinions.
I have had some interesting experiences in the past couple of months however. I have been tempted to explore the world of Chinese massage in Goodge Street and the surrounding area. There are Chinese medical establishments all over London offering Chinese herbal medicine, acupuncture and massage. At most of these places if a man chooses massage he might be offered a sexual service, usually masturbation to orgasm. I have tried many of these places in Soho and Chinatown, and more recently in Goodge Street and nearby.
I saw a lovely girl who I had seen before and wanted to see again. She hitched up her top so that I could feel her breasts but I was more interested in below the waist. At one point I was sitting up on the massage couch and I had her shorts and knickers down. I was touching her bum with my left hand and her pussy with my right hand while she was wanking me, her pretty face just a few inches from mine.
I went to a different place and saw a very pretty girl who offered a limited service, just a 'happy ending', but it was still a wonderful experience. Part of the pleasure of going to these places is that you might be able to persuade a nice girl to go further than she does with most customers. If you're a regular customer, are generous, and make her laugh and feel at ease, who knows what she might do for you. One fantasy I have is persuading a pretty Chinese girl to suck my cock and her trying but giggling too much and not being able to, to begin with. The idea of her leaning forward with her mouth open but then collapsing in giggles is an appealing one.
Also I saw a slightly older and less pretty woman who was very raunchy. I got her shorts and knickers down, and then she took them off. She put one foot up on the massage couch and started wanking herself. I put the end of my finger in her vagina while she was doing it and she orgasmed, or seemed to. Afterwards she told me not to tell anyone. That's why I'm not using any names, or even which establishment. I don't think they would like that. They are nice girls and I wouldn't want to do anything to cause problems for them.
These places are not such good value for money as other places, such as the Soho walk ups, but they are clean and discreet and offer a nice little sexual adventure.
So I was interested when recently in the Guardian there was an article about Chinese sex workers. The brothel worker: 'I regret not working in the sex trade as soon as I got here' Posing as a maid, Hsiao-Hung Pai infiltrated the murky world of the UK sex trade and spoke to some of the migrant mothers desperately working to send money home to their families Lots of Chinese women come to Britain on a visa but overstay. They work illegally in low-paid jobs such as catering. After working a couple of years they find out about sex work. Those that try it tend to say they wish that they had found out about it years ago.
Overall, the article was positive about Chinese brothels. There were a few negative points though. The 'madam' of the brothel was verbally abusive. They work very long hours. Occasionally some men try to take the condom off, putting them at risk of an STD. They were expected to offer oral sex without a condom, but not penetrative sex without a condom.
What I believe is that sex workers should be able to set up on their own without the need for a 'pimp' or 'madam'. Then they won't get the verbal abuse and don't have to hand over half of their earnings. I know there are reasons why this might not be so easy, but I have dealt with these issues in another part of this blog.
I don't think there are that many Chinese women working in brothels. There are none in Soho and Chinatown, as far as I can tell. There are however lots of Chinese women who offer a limited sexual service working in the Chinese medical establishments. There are one or two of these places that are not much more than a brothel. Most offer some kind of sexual service. Some offer nothing sexual at all.
At one place I went to there was one woman who did nothing sexual at all, not even masturbation to orgasm. Another woman offered this but nothing more. Another one offered oral sex and nudity as well as masturbation. Someone said she has full penetrative sex too.
It seems that Chinese women have an option that others such as Eastern Europeans do not have. They could work in a brothel, like the women in the article, or they could do massage with a 'happy ending'. If they don't want to do even that they can just do massage, or if they're prepared to do more - for the right customer - they can earn quite a bit. So the reality is different from what many people believe, that they do not have many options.
Some people don't like the term 'sex worker'. They say it would be better to use the word prostitute. I think 'sex worker' is a useful term because it includes women who offer massage and masturbation to orgasm but don't offer penetrative sex. Perhaps it includes strippers and erotic dancers too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)