Thursday, April 25, 2013

Living Dolls and The Sex Myth

I am reading two books on the same subjects; prostitution, erotic dancing and pornography. Natasha Walter has written Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism. Dr Brooke Magnanti  has written The Sex Myth: Why Everything We're Told Is Wrong. Natasha Walter is a feminist and has a negative view of prostitution etc. Dr Magnanti has been a sex worker (known as Belle de Jour) and is an expert in statistical analysis.

Natasha Walter writes that the number of sexual assaults increased in Camden Town in London after lap-dancing clubs opened. Dr Magnanti has shown in that this research (done by the Lilith Project) is false. She devotes the whole of Chapter 4 of her book to showing how poor the Lilith Project research is.

Other 'facts' in Living Dolls are:-
  • two-thirds of prostitutes have been assaulted by clients
  • 85% of prostitutes reported physical abuse in the family
  • 45% reported familial sexual abuse
  • a majority of prostitutes involved before age of 16 or 17
  • all have a problem with alcohol misuse
  • majority used hard drugs
These 'facts' seem to be about prostitutes in general. She then goes on to mention street prostitutes specifically. She writes that 96% of street prostitutes in Merseyside are using heroin and 81% using crack, 84% of these gave their reason for entering prostitution as getting money for drugs. I can well believe that this is true for street prostitutes - my experience is that when the police crack down on street prostitution it's only the drug addicts who keep on doing it. Before a crack down half of them are not addicts and eventually even the addicts give up - there is next to no street prostitution in London today.

All these figures are to set us up for her conclusion that prostitution isn't a real choice and therefore it is acceptable to take that choice away from women.
"Despite the fact that they have not necessarily been forced into this work, these women are not exempt from levels of abuse that make a mockery of the normalisation of prostitution."
She then goes on to write that 6 prostitutes are murdered every year. She doesn't write that no prostitutes are killed in New Zealand or the Netherlands*. She doesn't write that the reason prostitutes get killed in Britain in because people like her stand in the way of simple changes in the law that would make women a lot safer and probably remove the threat of death altogether.

The figures of 85% of prostitutes reporting physical abuse in the family and 45% reporting familial sexual abuse are dealt with by Dr Magnanti in Chapter 8. The research was the result of a handful of interviews, no control group, and is statistically pointless.

Walter writes in Living Dolls that she met and talked to a prostitute she calls Angela. Angela used words like 'dissociate' and 'psyche'. This reminded me of an article I read in the Guardian a few years ago by Emine Saner: 'You're consenting to being raped for money'. Saner wrote that she met and talked to a prostitute she called Karen. Karen also used these words. "You have to learn to dissociate your body from your mind which is dangerous for your psyche."

Could Angela and Karen be the same person? Angela in Living Dolls said "Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money". Karen in the Saner article said "Basically you've consented to being raped for money". Other things tie up in the two accounts. So who is Angela/Karen?

I did consider the possibility that she is a fantasist or someone like Valerie Lempereur who under the name Patricia Perquin wrote a book claiming to show the life of a Dutch prostitute in Amsterdam. Only it was a fabrication. Right-wing politicians used this book to push through changes in legislation restricting prostitution (just as feminist groups have been using the false statistic about Camden lap-dancing clubs to change the law to try and stop more clubs opening). Or perhaps Angela/Karen is a radical feminist (or a religious fundamentalist) who makes up stuff because she thinks she is helping the anti-prostitution cause. She is certainly a mouthpiece for feminist concepts such as dissociation.

When I re-read the Saner article carefully I realised that there was a lot of information that Karen has given about her career as a prostitute that Walter hasn't mentioned at all. Karen said that she's not a drug addict, she uses her earnings to save for her pension as well as pay her bills, she only needs to see five men per week to get enough money and the most men she has seen in one day is three. She gets paid £130 per hour (it used to be £170 till Eastern Europeans pushed prices down), has earned £1,500 in one sex session, and never has unprotected sex. When asked if she has experienced violence she answered 'Nearly' and refuses to see a man for a second time if she finds him physically unattractive.

It seems that Angela/Karen is more like Belle de Jour than Natasha Walter would like us to know. So I'm inclined to believe that Angela/Karen isn't a fabrication, if she'd wanted to make it all up to further the anti-prostitution cause then she could have made a better job of it.

Angela said that men sometimes asked if they could tie her up or gag her. Some also asked to have a threesome. It appears Angela didn't comply with these requests, yet she uses these as evidence that prostitution is becoming more violent.

Walter mentions the genre of books that include The Intimate Confessions of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour and Confessions of a Working Girl by Miss S. She dismisses the former but regards the latter as gospel truth. Miss S wrote that she continued to work in a brothel despite having a damaged, swollen and bleeding vagina.

She writes about PunterNet reviews and picks out some of the worst of them, using them as examples of what punters really think about sex workers. The reviews that she uses however are not representative of PunterNet reviews generally.

So what does the chapter in her book about prostitution add up to? Some statistics that might have been true of drug-addicted street prostitutes at one time, used to suggest that this is the reality of prostitution. The musings of Angela/Karen about her injured psyche (but nothing about her career as a prostitute because that would contradict the dodgy statistics). An unreliable paperback memoir. And some unrepresentative PunterNet reports. Not much really, is it?

It seems that what Natasha Walter is really bothered about is what she calls 'unemotional sex' or 'sex without much emotional engagement'. Lust is an emotion, but the emotion that she's thinking about is intimacy. She seems to think that sex without intimacy is degrading. As Angela said in Living Dolls: "All this push to get women to buy into porn and it's values - it's turning all women into paid or unpaid sex workers." As Karen said in the Saner article: "I believe there is a conspiracy to turn women into readily accessible semen receptacles." Natasha Walter is worried about 'The Return of Sexism'. I'm more worried about the return of Puritanism.

A woman can't consent to being raped. That's a contradiction in terms. It seems that the phrase 'Basically you've consented to being raped sometimes for money' was used by Angela only in the context of men asking to tie her up and gag her, perhaps because they wanted to enact a rape fantasy. She didn't think that all sex work is rape, although that makes a good headline for an article. Similarly, if you're a sex worker then you are paid for sex. There is no such thing as an unpaid sex worker.

What you get from reading Living Dolls is the idea that if a woman has sex without emotions/intimacy/commitment then she might just as well be a prostitute. The idea is that women don't really want promiscuous sex as fun, that it's only pressure from men or porn culture that makes women want to do it. That seems to me not only wrong but old fashioned and regressive. I don't have a problem with people wanting commitment, but it's not right for them to try and force it on the rest of us.

*since writing this I realize that four sex workers have been killed in New Zealand

Monday, April 22, 2013

Chinese sex workers

Like a lot of people these days I have recently experienced a drastic reduction in my income. So it's going to be fewer trips to Soho and Chinatown, and more trips to my local library. I am reading a couple of interesting books at the moment, The Sex Myth by Dr Brooke Magnanti and Living Dolls by Natasha Walter. They're quite interesting to read together because both books deal partly with the facts about sex work but from different perspectives. I will leave them for my next post though.

I was going to post on this blog about my experiences of sex work, because I think that's what most of my readers are interested in, and put anything else on the pages of the blog. Any information from the media or opinions I have about prostitution I tried to restrict to these pages. Now that I'm not going to have so many of these experiences, there will be more posts about information and opinions.

I have had some interesting experiences in the past couple of months however. I have been tempted to explore the world of Chinese massage in Goodge Street and the surrounding area. There are Chinese medical establishments all over London offering Chinese herbal medicine, acupuncture and massage. At most of these places if a man chooses massage he might be offered a sexual service, usually masturbation to orgasm. I have tried many of these places in Soho and Chinatown, and more recently in Goodge Street and nearby.

I saw a lovely girl who I had seen before and wanted to see again. She hitched up her top so that I could feel her breasts but I was more interested in below the waist. At one point I was sitting up on the massage couch and I had her shorts and knickers down. I was touching her bum with my left hand and her pussy with my right hand while she was wanking me, her pretty face just a few inches from mine.

I went to a different place and saw a very pretty girl who offered a limited service, just a 'happy ending', but it was still a wonderful experience. Part of the pleasure of going to these places is that you might be able to persuade a nice girl to go further than she does with most customers. If you're a regular customer, are generous, and make her laugh and feel at ease, who knows what she might do for you. One fantasy I have is persuading a pretty Chinese girl to suck my cock and her trying but giggling too much and not being able to, to begin with. The idea of her leaning forward with her mouth open but then collapsing in giggles is an appealing one.

Also I saw a slightly older and less pretty woman who was very raunchy. I got her shorts and knickers down, and then she took them off. She put one foot up on the massage couch and started wanking herself. I put the end of my finger in her vagina while she was doing it and she orgasmed, or seemed to. Afterwards she told me not to tell anyone. That's why I'm not using any names, or even which establishment. I don't think they would like that. They are nice girls and I wouldn't want to do anything to cause problems for them.

These places are not such good value for money as other places, such as the Soho walk ups, but they are clean and discreet and offer a nice little sexual adventure.

So I was interested when recently in the Guardian there was an article about Chinese sex workers. The brothel worker: 'I regret not working in the sex trade as soon as I got here' Posing as a maid, Hsiao-Hung Pai infiltrated the murky world of the UK sex trade and spoke to some of the migrant mothers desperately working to send money home to their families Lots of Chinese women come to Britain on a visa but overstay. They work illegally in low-paid jobs such as catering. After working a couple of years they find out about sex work. Those that try it tend to say they wish that they had found out about it years ago.

Overall, the article was positive about Chinese brothels. There were a few negative points though. The 'madam' of the brothel was verbally abusive. They work very long hours. Occasionally some men try to take the condom off, putting them at risk of an STD. They were expected to offer oral sex without a condom, but not penetrative sex without a condom.

What I believe is that sex workers should be able to set up on their own without the need for a 'pimp' or 'madam'. Then they won't get the verbal abuse and don't have to hand over half of their earnings. I know there are reasons why this might not be so easy, but I have dealt with these issues in another part of this blog.

I don't think there are that many Chinese women working in brothels. There are none in Soho and Chinatown, as far as I can tell. There are however lots of Chinese women who offer a limited sexual service working in the Chinese medical establishments. There are one or two of these places that are not much more than a brothel. Most offer some kind of sexual service. Some offer nothing sexual at all.

At one place I went to there was one woman who did nothing sexual at all, not even masturbation to orgasm. Another woman offered this but nothing more. Another one offered oral sex and nudity as well as masturbation. Someone said she has full penetrative sex too.

It seems that Chinese women have an option that others such as Eastern Europeans do not have. They could work in a brothel, like the women in the article, or they could do massage with a 'happy ending'. If they don't want to do even that they can just do massage, or if they're prepared to do more - for the right customer - they can earn quite a bit. So the reality is different from what many people believe, that they do not have many options.

Some people don't like the term 'sex worker'. They say it would be better to use the word prostitute. I think 'sex worker' is a useful term because it includes women who offer massage and masturbation to orgasm but don't offer penetrative sex. Perhaps it includes strippers and erotic dancers too.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Tina, Meena and Lulu

Someone on the PunterNet forum was singing the praises of a new girl in Soho called Tina. He wrote that she is only there on Thursdays and I thought if I go to see her I can see Meena too who also only works on Thursdays.

Tina works at 2 Lisle Street in the flat above Amanda. She says she is Spanish but she sounds more Eastern European. Sometimes Romanians pretend to be Spanish or Italian because their language is similar. I asked her how old she is and she said 23 which is about right. She is quite tall and slender with small breasts. She's got a nice face and smile.

I asked her to give me a handjob and I handed over my £22. We ended up with me wanking myself looking at her pussy. She lay back with her legs wide apart. She is shaven and her pussy is pretty, a lovely long slit. I opened it slightly to look at the pink inside. I got an erection but I didn't manage to come, which isn't surprising because we only had 10 minutes.

As I was going up the stairs of 26 Romilly Street to see Meena I wondered who would be in the other flat. I thought that if it is Gigi then I might see her too. Many say that Gigi is the best of the oriental girls in Soho. It wasn't Gigi though, it was Lulu. Lots of people say that Lulu is great, so I thought I will see her too.

I have seen Meena a few times over the years. She is a lovely Indian woman. She has long straight black hair and an unshaven pussy. She asked me how I was. I asked her if she remembers me and she said she does. This always surprises me because it must be well over a year since I saw Meena and when you think how many men she meets it should be difficult to remember anyone.

Another £22 and I was lying on the bed with Meena kneeling beside me. I told her that I had been reading about her on the internet and that someone said she is good at talking dirty. She started talking dirty while she wanked me. I asked her what she had been up to that day. She told me and said I could pull down the black panties that she was wearing to have a look at her hairy pussy. I did that, and I told her the hair wasn't as long as I remembered it.

She asked me what she could do to make me come. I said that it's rare for me to come in Soho. I told her that I used to see a Filipina woman in Greek Street who could make me come. I said that Ivy used to sit between my legs and wank me. Meena moved between my legs and I explained the exact position Ivy had, sitting with her bum on the bed with her legs wide apart and over mine.

She did this, and I told her that the last couple of times I had seen Ivy she had lain back on the bed with her legs wide apart and I had looked at her pussy and wanked myself. Meena then lay on her back, drew her knees up to her chest and slipped off her panties. She opened her legs and held her pussy wide open for me to see. It was dark, but the opening of the vagina was reddish-pink and open. I still couldn't come though so when my time was up I got dressed and we chatted.

She told me she used to work in an Indian brothel in Covent Garden but it became difficult when lots of Eastern European women started working. She said that most of the Eastern Europeans have pimps or boyfriends. I don't know if she said that because she wanted to put me off seeing her rivals or if she really believed it to be true.

After seeing Meena I forgot that I intended to see Lulu too but I walked back to Romilly Street and up the stairs again. Lulu is a Thai lady. She looks about 30 with a pretty face and quite large breasts. She's about medium height and a nice enough figure. Meena and Lulu are about the same age and have slightly saggy tummies but that doesn't put me off.

Lulu moved and talked in a very sexy way when we were on the bed together. She straddled one of my legs and rubbed the end of my erection on her tummy. Then she turned so she was on her hands and knees with her bum in my face so I could see her pussy and her bum hole, still holding on to my cock. I told her I wanted her to lie on her back with her legs open so I could see her pussy. I knelt between her legs and wanked myself. Lulu played with herself and talked dirty, telling me she wanted me to fuck her pussy.

Her pussy was smaller than Tina's or Meena's but with larger labia. I could feel that I was going to come and I wondered if she would mind if I came all over her. I didn't think she would get angry, but I didn't want to irritate her. When I had come with Ivy I used my hand to stop the semen going everywhere. When I felt that I was definitely going to come I moved a bit closer to her and squirted over the lower half of her body. She held an upturned hand over her pussy to stop the semen going there.

She didn't seem to mind at all that I had come over her. She got off the bed and went to the sink, and then chatted to me as if nothing unusual had happened. Some people might think that I would be better off going to a brothel and spending half an hour with a woman for £60 or £70. But I saw three women of different nationalities, looks and personalities. I wouldn't say that any of them are stunners, but they are all attractive. I can't think of a a better way to spend an afternoon and £66.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

guide to types of women in Soho walk ups

1. The Enthusiastic Amateur
If you go with this girl you will either have the best experience ever, or the worst. If she likes you, you may get the best service. If you are young, attractive and outgoing, and willing to spend more than the minimum amount, there's little that she won't do for you. You might get oral sex without a condom. If she doesn't like you, then she might not bother with you hardly at all. She might give a bad service, and have an attitude 'What are you going to do about it?'. She can be immature like a petulant teenager. She can also be a bit mad.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: AnnaAngela
  • examples of this type in the past: Jazmin (aka Kim)
2. The Time-server
This girl saves up her money to buy her house back home, and is willing to give a good service, but will only do the minimum for the money given. Anything different you might want to do costs extra. If you touch her on the bum she won't like it, especially if you haven't paid yet. She probably spends her hours fantasizing about her dream home back in Eastern Europe. She's usually quite passive, not at all raunchy. She can be sweet and innocent.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: Rebecca
  • examples of this type in the past: Nelly
3. The Totally-committed
This type knows that there's not much point in being there unless she maximizes her earning potential. She will go out of her way to please every customer. She will smile at him, she will flirt with him, and perform a range of activities sometimes at no extra cost. She wants those return customers, she wants those reviews and reports that will enhance her reputation.

She can take one look at a man and determine what type he is and what it is that he needs. To some men she will be foul-mouthed, to others she will be well spoken. She can give a Porn Star Experience (PSE) or a Girlfriend Experience (GFE) and usually you won't have to tell her what it is that you want.

Even towards the end of a 12 hour shift she is bright and perky. She is always professional, like a businesswoman. She might even have a business on the side or own property. Sometimes you don't know what she is thinking. She says she remembers you from last time, but does she really? She says she likes you, but does she really? She can seem a bit robotic sometimes.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: MeenaAlena
  • examples of this type in the past: Natalie

4. The Pleasure-seeker
This one enjoys her work. Not necessarily because she is a nymphomaniac. It could be she likes flattery or the buzz of meeting lots of people every day. She likes to talk about sex and she might like you to pleasure her. She is the most reliably raunchy type, although types 1, 3 and 6 can be raunchy too, but unlike type 1 she's professional enough and emotionally mature enough to give a good time to any man who comes through the door.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: EvaAngie, Yaya
  • examples of this type in the past: Paris

5. The Girl Next Door
She's not really happy being there. She'll go through the motions, although if she's in a bad mood she can be no fun. She likes to make people happy, and tries to do so, but can't always succeed. She might try doing something else for a while, but often she comes back to it because she doesn't have the determination to succeed at anything else.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: Sandy
  • examples of this type in the past: Andra

6. The Real Woman
This type likes to make people happy. She doesn't just lie back and expect you to get on with it. She encourages you with smiles, maybe opening her legs wide and moving her pelvis in a very seductive manner. When you're on top of her she might whisper things in your ear to encourage you. If you lack confidence then she might talk to you about it and say you shouldn't worry so much.
  • examples of this type in Soho today: Monica
  • examples of this type in the past: Mimi (Polish Mimi)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

recent discussions on radio about prostitution

At the beginning of Woman's Hour on Radio 4 this morning two sex workers - Catherine Stevens and Sue - talked about their lives. Sue said that she had been seriously attacked when working as a sex worker from a flat. Catherine Stevens said that women working alone from flats are vulnerable to attack, but that when women choose to work together for safety they are breaking the law. She said she would like to have a change in the law so that women are allowed to work together. You can listen to the show here.

Yesterday (04/12/12) on the Today programme on Radio 4 (6 am to 9 am) there was a discussion on the subject of prostitution including the Policy Officer from the European Women’s Lobby (EWL) Pierrette Pape and Niki Adams from the English Collective of Prostitutes. The EWL want to create 'a Europe free from prostitution' with the Swedish model adopted across Europe. This would mean that a man who pays for sex will commit a crime, but sex workers will no longer be criminalised.

Pierrette Pape said "prostitution is about someone imposing his desire over someone else through money and we think it's a form of violence and if we want to build a society based on equality between women and men and human dignity we have to realise this and to put all efforts to change that".

In response to this ideological claptrap Niki Adams pointed out that a crackdown undermines safety among sex workers and forces sex work underground.

This is what Pierette Pape said in reply "the Swedish police says that first prostitution is a market so if the clients, the buyers, can find the women in prostitution the social workers can and the police can".

This is as daft as saying that if drug addicts can find drug dealers then the police can too. We know that in Britain prostitution in the West African community is underground and spread by word of mouth. West African prostitutes are invisible to the police but NGOs are aware of some of them.

There was also discussion of poverty among women especially mothers.

Pierrette Pape said that the decriminalisation of sex workers in Sweden has had some benefits for them. This is true, but criminalising men doesn't help with that. It's difficult for women to work safely from flats when their customers are wary of getting arrested.

Niki Adams said that the New Zealand model has had many benefits for sex workers in New Zealand, including increased safety. Pierrette Pape said that decriminalisation in the Netherlands hasn't decreased violence. Niki Adams replied that it isn't the Netherlands model that she is advocating, it is the New Zealand model.

Monday, November 19, 2012

one day in the life of a street girl

I have had a terrible nights sleep. Been shaking and not feeling very well. I wake up to breakfast. A 10 bag of heroin. This will make me well enough so I can go out and make some money. If I haven't had to luxury of buying a 10 for the morning I will cook up all the used filters I have from previous fixes.

(When you inject heroin you add the brown powder to water and boil it up. You add citric and you will put a filter in it. You will suck all the juice through the filter so you filter the bad stuff out of it.) So when I don't have money I will recook all the filters I have saved. Its not as effective but it will get me out of trouble if not for a short while.

I found it difficult to inject this morning. I was shaky and trying my best not to miss the vein. I'm not hungry, but I eat a few pieces of chocolate to get some energy. I get dressed with the idea of trying to make money. My first idea is ask if I can borrow some money to get me through the day and then later I can earn money prostituting and can repay the money. Due to lack of credit I'm unable to ask anyone.

I go shop lifting during the day. I walk into Croydon and try and get whatever I can. There is a friend I have who will take anything I get. He pays me a quarter of the value price and he sells it on at half price.

Today I got 12 pairs of shoes from Next and after I got that I walked into Argos and they had on display Lawn Mowers. I got 1 of them too. All in all in made £70 this morning. I have to pay back £30 I borrowed from my friend. With the remaining £40 I plan to get crack and heroin.

You can get crack and heroin in 10 or 20 bags. Some dealers will sell you a 20 rock and a 10 bag of heroin for £25. To them this is still profit because once you have your first hit of crack you won't want to stop. Their gear from these sort of dealers isn't top quality. I prefer to get my white (crack) in powder form and wash it myself.

Washing meaning washing it up with bicarb to turn it into crack. Its a simple process. The cocaine powder will be on a spoon. A small amount of bicarb is added as well as a few drops of ammonia. (Please do not think I am trying to teach anyone how to do it because I wouldn't encourage anyone to live the life I lead). This mixture is then heated and stirred slowly. The crack with harden against the cold metal implement used to stir the mixture.

I'm unable to buy the powder form right now because I don't have enough money. I stick with getting a 20 rock and 10 brown for 25 and also buy an extra 10 brown for later. With the remaining £5 I buy some tobacco and 4 energy drinks.

There is a well known crack house in Croydon that I can buy gear from. I make my way there. Crack houses are not glamorous places and I wouldn't wish this environment on anyone. I walk in, its cold, people are sitting on the floor. It doesn't smell particularly nice and all eyes are on me. I'm under the illusion I may be the only person who has cash right now.

Everyone is asking me for a roll up and I'm happy to share. I'm looking forward to my buzz so I'm not really concerned. I'm a bit shaky and not feeling great at the minute. My poison is given to me from my devil. I always carry my own equipment with me. My crack pipe, my pins, my syringes, clean tissue and sterile wipes.

I smoke the crack first and then my heroin. My one and only love. I do start to feel better but I'm craving more crack now. I take a walk to my friends house who lives just behind Surrey Street market. She's a prostitute and works from AdultWork. She takes crack and smokes heroin. Luckily she never progressed to injecting.

She has some crack and we have a smoke. On the promise that I will help her when she has nothing. My friend sells her body to feed her habit. She charges £150 for an hour and £100 for half an hour. She offers extras such as anal, BB (bareback), CIM, OWO and facials. Today she has a particular kind of request. The gentleman wants 2 girls for watersports. She said I had come at just the right time! She calls the client back and he takes the details and will arrive soon.

While we wait she let's me use her shower and I freshen up. I give her an energy drink and we relax watching Loose Women waiting for him to arrive. He soon arrives. He has agreed to pay 250 for half an hour with 2 girls including watersports. She will pay me 100 for joining in.

He's an Asian man, in his fifties. He's in a business suit and has arrived in a nice car. He seems nervous. I feel for him. It must be intimidating for him to come alone. He's entering someone else's house so he must be feeling nervous. My friend goes away to count the money so I chat to him.

My friend soon arrives and we get down to business. He wants me and my friend to kiss to turn him on. We oblige. He touches us for a short while and soon he starts to wank. He says he will come soon. We move him into the bath. He lays down in the bath and continues to wank. While he is doing that me friend and I urinate on him. He soon cums and asks to have a shower. He leaves shortly after.

With the money I have made I decide to buy more drugs. I go back to the crackhouse. I also buy some credit for my phone. The day progresses like this til evening. This is when I start to prostitute. I am free to take punters to the crackhouse. They don't mind and as long as I am still buying drugs its ok. If I am lucky I may get another call from my friend and work with her if not I have to work on the streets.

The chemist that I get my clean syringes from also gives me condoms for free. On this particular night I'm not waiting too long for a punter. I jump in the car and the man explains that he wants to insert his tongue into me. He offers me £20. I am happy for him to do this. Its quick and pretty painless. By this time I buy a 20 crack and use my 10 brown that I have saved from earlier.

Soon after I am back on the street and I am approached by a man standing at a bus stop. He says he wanted a blow job. I asked him for £40 but he is only prepared to pay 30. I accept his offer. I gave him the condom and performed my service. I still know I need at least 1 more job to get enough gear to see me through the remainder of the night and one for the morning.

The last punter is a young man. He's probably early 20s. He asks can I come back to his house and have sex in his shower. He will pay me £50 for 15 mins. He lived in Purley. We drove to his house and we got into the shower. He covered me in shower gel and asked could he wash my hair which he did. He started to play with my clit and asked what turned me on. Soon he picked me up and we had quick heated sex against the wall of the shower.

I was happy I had made £50 and he gave me a lift home. I gave a call to a dealer and he arranged to meet me outside my home. I got my gear and I went indoors. I relaxed and watched some TV. Before bed I had my last little treat. My heroin. Ready to do the same again tomorrow.

not forgotten